We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
