I'm really into asian looking animals
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
