1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
