She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
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tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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