why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
