I think I died a long time ago.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
