**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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