i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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