I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
