Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Alive.
So much puke
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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