I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
