I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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