I want to make a zoo with you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
