none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
