Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
