Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
