Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
