she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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