i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
