I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back