all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum