You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
