After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
