If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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