"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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