maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
