it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Too much gin, very little bucket
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
