I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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