i think my tv is drunk
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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