God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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