I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize