eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
