So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I had to cum in my sink.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
