oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
