make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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