Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize