I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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