y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
