butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
