so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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