The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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