pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im six kinds of drunk right now
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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