I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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