i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
