I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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