Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
