so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This is my gift to your gina
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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