when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
