I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
