so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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