He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
