i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.