This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.