this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi