Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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