and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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