If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
bring money and cleavage
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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