i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
