By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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