they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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