Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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