smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
