bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
