so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
