its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
